The Dance

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. Its about dancing in the rain.

Hello, beautiful souls!

My name is Epiphany. Most of my friends call me Toi. I decided to start a blog because I wanted to be more personal and transparent.

Writing is healing and therapeutic for me. Brace yourself… this is RAW and REAL. 

Here is the back story for those who don’t know my circumstances. At the end of 2015, my doctors told me that, I had stage 3 Multiple Myeloma which is considered Plasma Cell Leukemia at the point of diagnosis. I have been in treatment for three years. My treatment consists of intravenous chemotherapy, and I’ve had a total of 22 rounds of radiation, and one auto stem cell transplant. The last 11 rounds of radiation were in October 2018, and I still receive intravenous chemotherapy four times a month. 

The year 2018, I was super excited! I had achieved remission, and I finally started to feel like myself after being depleted by my stem cell transplant in May of 2016. Suddenly, there was a shift in my health in the latter part of 2018. My numbers elevated a bit in October. The good news is I am stable now and have been for a couple of months. The bad news… I am no longer in remission.

This year I celebrated my birthday in January by getting my mammogram a few days before the day of my birth. (I do this every year for my birthday)

 A breast mass was detected. More film and an ultrasound lead me to have a biopsy. 

Seventeen hours before the biopsy procedure, I was in the emergency room for pain. A CT scan was performed and not one mass, but two masses are now present. 

At this exact moment, I am in waiting floating in that dark space where you drift about like an unborn child in the mother’s womb waiting to see the light — to finally hear a voice. That’s how I feel right now. 

 There are some things in life that you can’t control, hide or run from to escape reality. However, you can change your reaction and your mindset towards the situation. 

We are designed with a predated blueprint of our life span here on earth. Our brains are powerful! More powerful than most humans can imagine. Our bodies react to what we feed it. Our thoughts change our brain function. So does stress. By that, I mean the words we speak, our thoughts, and how we treat other people. What we’re always thinking of appears. You know that saying, thoughts become a reality? Or Stress will kill you? Believe it, it’s true. As a Cancer patient, your support system and medical team are vital. It is the utmost importance that you are living a stress-free life as much as possible. Yes, we have fatigue and anxiety. It’s a package deal with Cancer. The trick is learning how to manage it by eliminating stressors. Feed yourself positive affirmations. Pray, meditate, and just be still. I am trusting that whatever the outcome is, I’ve already won. Yes, I am one of many that you call, Wonder Woman. Welcome to my world.

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